My Play Was Selected as a Finalist in a Beckett Contest

In conjunction with their staging of Samuel Beckett’s “Endgame,” Philadelphia’s Arden Theatre recently sponsored a contest asking for creative responses to the play.

I wrote a 35-page one act play and which was selected as one of 10 finalists in the contest.

Read it (or glance at it) here >>

Since the winner was selected via Facebook (something the National Book Award and the Nobel Prize should definitely look into) and I’m no longer in high school and my play relies on the written word, I knew I didn’t stand a chance of actually winning the contest, but I achieved my goal, actually 2 goals – 1) write a play and 2) be one of the 10 finalists as selected by the Arden staff.

In retrospect, the only thing I’d change – other than proofing the doc for typos (which are pretty ridiculous) – is the title. I called it “The Moan Grenade” thinking “I’ll be clever and use an anagram for ‘Another Endgame’” and I ended up with a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE title for this particular play. There may very well be plays out there waiting to be written for which “The Moan Grenade” is a perfectly acceptable title, but not for this one.

The play should have been simply called “Another Endgame”, as if you call it that, you manage to reference the original “Endgame” and by throwing the modifier “another” in there, you get some torque going with the connotation of multiplicity.

Do you know him?

do you know him?

The German King

visual poetry: The German King

“Why Don’t You Try Vacationing Inside of Mahatma Gandhi?”

There is an island inside of Mahatma Gandhi offering a breath-taking underwater view of turtles, fish, roots and jack fruits.

By snorkeling inside of Gandhi, one can enjoy the under-water marine life and view the rarest varieties of corals.

You can also watch hundreds of fish nibble away at the vestiges of the British colonial empire.

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EXPAND YOUR MIND:

Did you know that Mahatma Gandhi founded more than 1200 species of fish and 350 species of Mini-Turtles?
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Near sunset you are very likely to spot Gandhi on the beach weighing fish larvae from Cuba.

Visitors are encouraged to talk to him, capture him and gut him, as Gandhi himself makes for delicious eating.

He can be poached, baked, broiled, or fried – though he is most commonly served as a sandwich on rye bread

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THEY SAID IT:

“The bad habits, like eating the other dogs, are the prerogative of the brave.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
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Although Mahatma Gandhi is a terrific tour destination for families who want squat on the ground and learn how to perform medically unnecessary operations on Australian Cattle Dogs, a new version of Mahatma Gandhi – tentatively titled Manhatta Gandhi – is being developed.

The new Gandhi will be better equipped to play online hidden object games; provide more than enough authentic Siamese kitten names; and feed on fish, seals, turtles and other marine carnivores like crabs.

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DID YOU KNOW?

Because Gandhi could not eat meat, he subsisted exclusively on cartoon puppies.
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If you’re fortunate, you might see either Gandhi come ashore to lay their eggs near a spinning wheel serving puppy chow, then go off to the Physical Fitness Centre.

If you are new to Core Knowledge, as you observe Gandhi doing incline flyes you may be tempted to ask your tour guide questions like “Are all those tubes really necessary?” or “What would happen if you removed them one at a time?”

But these questions are answered already in your guidebook – so don’t be a schmendrick and ask about the tubes.

The Real Song

somewhere in the notes of an untuned piano
somewhere there’s the real song

and we try play it right
but it sounds all wrong

and even though we know

it sounds all wrong
we still try to play it right

because somewhere there’s the real song
somewhere in the notes of an untuned piano

Even if the Black Bird Never Sings the Riches

Some would say that since we’re all supposedly priceless,
you need not be a gem-encrusted piece of black avian statuary
coming in on a slow boat from Hong Kong
to have your own personal Sam Spade out there looking for you.

Well, if you believe this, maybe you should help a fellow out,
give Spade leg up on the chase by zeroing out your 401K
and taking full-page ads out in all the dailies
in the letter-size type they save for the ends of wars

“Sam Spade.
I’m the one you’re looking for.
Call me at
1-800-I-AM-HERE.”

Me, I think just the opposite -
that we should each be our own Sam Spade,
looking for the clues to our own mysteries
and we don’t care if the bird is made of lead or gold,
or whether the Fatman’s quest ends with a bullet from Wilmer,
or how very beautiful Ms. O’Shaughnessy is –
if she shot Archer, we’ll have to turn her in,
that’s just the way it is

because every time you turn your head
you can catch an inkling of
some new case starting
some new lead on
some new bird of lead
or maybe one that’s really gold after all
and you can’t blame a fellow for
wanting to follow the clues
to wherever they take him
even if it’s nowhere in particular

because a job’s a job
and a life’s a life
even if the black bird
never sings the riches.

I Am a Man of Many Bagpipes

I don’t know how to use them
or what they’re really for

but if bagpipes could make a teary gondolier
then I would be that teary gondolier

and if bagpipes could make a femme fatale
then I would be that femme fatale

and if bagpipes could make a folktale alligator
then I would be that folktale alligator

and if bagpipes could make a buxomer pinto
then I would be that buxomer pinto

and if bagpipes could make a skeleton waltz
then I would be that skeleton waltz

and if bagpipes could make a buttermilk donkey
then I would be that buttermilk donkey

and if bagpipes could make an oval pitchfork
then I would be that oval pitchfork

and if bagpipes could make ironed muscatel
then I would be ironed muscatel

but there is no generic prescription
no free 80-page guide with a detailed description
of paths and roads and life’s definition
for a man of many bagpipes

so I go on being everything
sometimes something
most times nothing

but a man of many bagpipes

Specifications for Each Shot Glass

Top diameter: 8.5 cm (3 3/8 inches)
Bottom diameter 5.6 cm (2 1/4 inches)
Height: 15.0 cm (5 7/8 inches)

Clear of any adornments
or affectations

No “Boston Red Sox 2004 World Series Champions”
No cartoon surfers or a 3-D “Hawaii” in blue and orange
No school shields or names

No logos
No brands
No words

Blown apart by .22 caliber bullets
and lying in shards
in the woods

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