Redacted from the Book of Proverbs (no. 12)

Every exit is an entrance to somewhere else except when you find yourself in a square room whose four walls each have at their midpoint a door which when exited ​has the effect of re-entering the room via the door opposite of the door being exited. ​ In rooms like this you’re pretty much fucked.

Ask I: “I Am a Lost Saw”

Q: I am going to a party at a private club. I have ears that stand out. I am a lost saw. A: No little shine inside – and out? Look for bright shade, a purple peach or an unusual mute. Heat the flat. Ring the dress. Relax in a tug. If your arms look [...]

on the cusp between breast and dream

there are obvious resonances the first brush of a hand across a roof civic virtue since the chaste peck the Sign of the Cross True dream police portrayed as a mystical “Dream Team” that can revolutionize the complex. To feed (a baby) mother’s milk from a Board Certified specialist – the most innovative dream come [...]

Ask I: “How About Codifying Cool?” ​

Q: How about codifying cool? I’d like a leg. A: Memo to all slipping feet: You’re the curve. Cutting now belongs to geeky guys in the novel version of the 1980s. Forget the contrived adventure and abandon, that conventional “play ball here.” Adopt the flair of the former saint who wore (most probably) cashmere and [...]

form is as someone does

form is form is form is as someone does form is it is it is it is it it is as it was? what form what form what form have you? meter meter meter meter meter meter true? what form what form what form have you! meter meter meter meter meter meter true!

Ask I: “I Have Real Calves and Hoe My Skin” ​

Q: I pump with peep. I strap rows of straps. I make my feet look really heavy. I have real calves and hoe my skin. Will men like me? A: Love With a Round Gladiator became a novel that inspired thrill women to want more war. Men who have big feet, thick calves, or skin [...]

what do you look for in a lipstick?

terms such as “butter-like” and “gel-soufflé.” You may find Blue lipstick, try on virtual hairstyles, change the way you look with heavy makeup. Blake Lively can be used on your lips. What do you do after you find Ava sexy à la Beyonce or Scarlett Johansson? Hold different coloured fabrics? It can be a struggle [...]

everything that’s been is been

1 the I’ve who housekeepers who bags a lime who lives by her trances who plays I’ve the lives with lives of fate been lives felt plain by I, I’ve kinks by I, I’ve braid 2 a lighthouse of one about by been who minings the that I who about is always it’s lightweight always [...]

[In this article you're going to learn how to get girls to like you]

In this article you’re going to learn how to get girls to like you, how one way of doing things was – and is still – the best way of doing things, the right responses under social pressure, what to tell a two and three year old who is on fire with gymnastic ability. It’s [...]

Ask I: “I Needs to Be Fumigated?”

Q: I got a gorgeous peach. I got a fir lined with locks. I needs to be fumigated? A: People move away from harsh vermin, tend beetles, fish out of season. Some answer to a robe, a New York hat, a cloth house, say “no” to longer lines or all your clothes before you tore [...]

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