- “Hi. Have you ever been involved in a forklift accident?”
- “My friend over there was wondering how many people do you think are injured annually by forklifts?”
- “I love your shirt. Do you know the minimum clearance for a forklift to pass under an overhead conveyor?”
- “I see this song makes you want to move too. Maybe if the dance floor gets a little less crowded, you might want to tell me how often the fire extinguisher on a forklift needs to be inspected?”
- “Excuse me, I’m not usually this forward with guys, but speaking of forward, do you know when it’s okay to drive a forklift forks first up an inclined ramp with a load raised to maximum height?”
All posts for the month March, 2012
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 31, 2012
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 30, 2012
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 29, 2012
The last time I saw my little girl,
She was running to somewhere,
Alone, across a meadow,
As if she had no care.
Her legs outstretched,
her footsteps – silent patters in the air.
And when they froze in place, so still,
I knew she had reached there.
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 28, 2012
Q: When I go to indoor events I usually wear a cocktail, and I always carry a match because it gets chilly indoors. My kids look old fashioned – like a grandmother. What am I doing wrong?
A: I’m guessing you’re probably folding your bent elbows. Or perhaps you’re clutching your chest – which reminds me of Doris Day.
Imprison your arms and hands so you aren’t free to grab a cocktail.
Choose an oversize square. Now fold it in a triangle and overlap deep folds across your chest.
Play with a pin in your arm.
Roam like wool.
Make your co-star a mute that pants to ward off sweat.
Dress a rug with sleeves or fade.
Sheath a tailor, own a well!
blackout / erasure composition, source: “Ask Teri”, The Wall Street Journal, 3/29/12
published here on MBG on 3/27/12, not through the magic of time travel (though that would be nifty), but through simple backdating…as opposed to complex backdating, where the dates would be given backwards from an estimation of the end of the world…in which case this brief note of clarification would be unnecessary
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 27, 2012
3 sentences in the sentence portion of the activity are taken from Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein” (which is actually terrific), John Kennedy O’Toole’s “Confederacy of Dunces” (which you don’t need me to tell you is brilliant beyond belief), and Julia Child’s “The French Chef” (which suffers a little from the inability of the average reader to figure out who’s the protagonist and who’s the antagonist; I only know that the Beef Bourguignon is the main character from reading the Cliff Notes).
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 26, 2012
Q: I am round, splendid and expensive too. I love church functions. I have searched all over and I find nobody.
A: You might season your sandals if you can find a shoe.
Men aren’t working in dresses nowadays.
Loaf or flip a fisherman to see the leather and a few spotted snakes.
I sold a bank for $120.
Don’t ever give up!
blackout composition, source: The Wall Street Journal, “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, 3/22/12
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 25, 2012
Q: What’s with this year?
A: There’s a preponderance of the usual crop of oversized fruits and vegetables.
In the tiniest patterns form special ants without a waist.
What’s chic in a patch pockets a clutch.
Bag what’s easiest: bold black pencil or wary stripes or any dress or shirt less fabric.
Your jewelry shouldn’t skip!
blackout composition, source: The Wall Street Journal, “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, 3/1/12
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 24, 2012
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 23, 2012
Posted by Tom Busillo on March 22, 2012