Wandering in the forest, I met a crimson man.
He said, “Do not be afraid.” Stretched out a crimson hand.
I did not move a muscle. I stood right in my place.
The crimson man he smiled, yellow teeth across his face.
I looked down at my hand, and it was crimson red.
The crimson man had disappeared; the forest it was dead.
I ran home and my mother couldn’t wash the stain away,
So I’ve worn a mitten on my hand starting from that day.
My schoolmates think I’m strange, but they can never understand.
I need to wear a white mitten to hide my crimson hand.
All posts for the month October, 2011
The Crimson Hand
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 31, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/31/the-crimson-hand/
The Case of A. Pearson
There was a Pearson who at the urging of a friend went to psychiatrist’s office.
“There’s a man inside of me,” he said to the doctor.
“Interesting,” said the doctor. “Can you describe him?”
“It’s difficult, as he’s inside of me and I’ve never really seen him.”
“Do your best,” said the doctor.
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Well, what does the man feel like he looks like?”
“Feel like?”
“Inside of you, certainly he feels like something,” said the doctor. “Does he ever feel like he’s stomping around?”
“Well…I guess you could possibly say that.”
“Good. And when he stomps around, is the stomping quiet or more of a racket?”
“I guess more of a racket.”
The doctor smiled.
“So he’s not barefoot then. He’s wearing shoes!”
“Yes. Yes. He’s definitely wearing shoes!” cried Pearson.
“And do they feel like heavy shoes?”
“Heavy? You mean like boots?”
“Precisely.”
“Yes.”
“Excellent! Do you see the progress we’ve made?” the doctor said with excitement. “Not only do we know the man inside you is wearing shoes, but he’s wearing black boots!”
“I can’t be sure of the color – “
“Probabilities Pearson,” scolded the doctor. “The overwhelming majority of boots sold and worn nowadays are black. I happen to also treat a man who sells shoes, and you should hear him rail against black boots.”
“I see. Yes, they’re black then.”
“And is this man holding a whip?”
“A whip?”
“Yes. You know, do you ever feel every now and then a sharp pain anywhere?”
“Yes.”
“And when you feel these pains, are they ever in the vicinity of the stomping?”
“Yes!”
“Well, he has a whip alright.”
“Amazing!”
“And if the man were to jump – “
“Jump?”
“Yes. Let’s imagine the man jumps upwards and bumps his noggin somewhere inside of you,” said the doctor. “What would that feel like to you? A dull pain or a sharp pain?”
“I’d say sharp.”
“Excellent. By this bit of information we can surmise he is wearing a hat,” said the doctor. “And not just any hat. But one with sharp edges. What kind of hat has sharp edges?”
“A Kaiser Wilhelm helmet?”
“That’s more of a spike on top the hat. We’re talking about the edges.”
Pearson thought for a moment.
“A top hat?”
“A top hat! Exactly!” cried the doctor. “Isn’t this all very amazing once you get the hang of it?”
“Quite.”
“I’m starting to get the full picture here,” said the doctor. “The man inside of you is wearing black boots and a top hat and is holding a whip.”
“What do you think?”
“Well, based on my training and the available facts…”
The doctor paused.
“It would seem you have a lion tamer inside of you.”
“Good heavens!” cried Pearson.
“Oh relax, my good boy,” said the doctor nonchalantly. “We have ways of getting these things to work themselves out.”
“How?”
“Well, we just need to get the lion tamer out of your body.”
“And how would you do that?”
“We’ll just have to use a lion won’t we?”
“A lion?”
“Yes. A bit of bait, as it were.”
“But isn’t that dangerous?”
“In most cases, yes. It’s highly dangerous. Extremely dangerous. But then again, this isn’t most cases,” said the doctor. “We have the incredible good fortune to have a lion tamer right here in the room. You couldn’t ask for a better set of circumstances. In fact, I dare say, this is the ideal situation to introduce a lion into the mix. Wait here.”
And with that, the doctor left the office and returned with a lion a leash.
“I’ll be back in a bit and I expect to see you fully cured,” said the doctor, releasing the lion and quickly closing the door behind him.
After a quick walk down the block to a coffee shop, the doctor returned to his office to find Pearson – or the little that was left of him – by the radiator under the window and the lion sitting in the patient’s chair.
“And what would you like to work on today, Cleo?” asked the doctor, settling himself into his chair.
“It seems I’m still having issues with impulse control,” said the lion, nodding his head in the direction of the radiator.
The doctor sighed.
“Cleo, Cleo, Cleo. You and your ‘impulse control.’ Why must you always go there?” he said shaking his head. “We’ve reached the point where we finally got you to realize that you are neither a lion nor a man trapped inside of a lion, but rather a man with a lion on the outside of him. And yet you still can’t fully accept it.”
“It’s difficult.”
“I know it’s difficult. But for god’s sake man, we need to take the next step – the step I’ve been asking you to take with me for almost a full year now,” said the doctor. “We need to finally bring in that lion hunter once and for all.”
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 30, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/30/the-case-of-a-pearson/
another theory is that
in the world you are throwing starfish
a hundred miles
and millions of carp
wait for you
to remove the blocks
from your mouth
after dropping them in the
treasure chest
am I
found
by accident
in your ears
enjoy cocktails
and playing fetch
am I
no other joy but
hollow art
am I
best known for
my red toenails
do I love
a glowing blue symbol
representing
Boxer Critter Clock Boxer New In Box
observer of the inner Hugh Heffner
maybe we could
alter a line into a curve
turn a tree back into an acorn
in the research, some children activate
unexplained communication between brain hemispheres without corpus callosum
is this the subconscious of sunshine
that we have
in the end
told
rather as a doctor reporting
rejection at the gym too
or the odd girl who loves to laugh
“What happens when … Yes, you’re right!”
actively engaged in a passive quest for reality
a search for identity that is actually only found
in acquiring a secret
like you traveled back from the not too distant future
the working hypotheses
beforehand
“but isn’t everyone
a satisfying story all around”
reported disproved in
the afterwords
so technical design
is
the big apple this year
the onion in the giantess
is
the shadow-figure behind the star-spangled opening of the hand
yes, of course, I am talking about
copious wisdom
available both as
The Book of Revelations
or
a bonafide patriot mentioning something about mountains crumbling
it doesn’t seem so long ago
I knew the adage
in plain conversational language
I am the reification of the ubiquity
I am the footage to the stories we use to tell about video
I am the only eagle here
patriot
and I’m written entirely in Indonesian
what was our name
five hundred years ago
did we have one
or many
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 29, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/29/another-theory-is-that/
Bad Advice for a Child Showing Unusual Interest in Pyrotechnics
Done with fire? Put it out.
If it won’t go out, then shake it all about.
If you shake it too much, your house’ll be burned,
but you’ve got a new home – so lesson learned!
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 28, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/28/bad-advice-for-a-child-showing-unusual-interest-in-pyrotechnics/
Ten Ten Word Summaries of Ten Word Summaries
Ten word summaries are as described – limited to ten words.
Ten word summaries generally offer brief descriptions or short overviews.
Ten word summaries boil things down to their very essence.
Ten word summaries give only the highlights and eschew details.
Ten word summaries focus on the big, Big, BIG picture.
Ten word summaries can be used to simplify complex ideas.
Ten word summaries sometimes not full or complete sentences.
Ten word summaries – useful when limited space to convey information.
Ten word summaries – ideal for readers whose time is precious.
Ten word summaries will disappoint readers looking for exhaustive detail.
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 27, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/27/ten-ten-word-summaries-of-ten-word-summaries/
J and His Wife
J put too much sugar in his coffee.
His wife said, “What are you trying to do? Rot my teeth?”
J sipped from a very hot bowl of soup.
“Are you trying to make me burn my mouth?” asked the wife.
J read a very scarey story.
“Are you trying to make my hair turn white?” she asked.
One very rainy night, when J’s car was in the shop for repairs, he borrowed his wife’s car to run an errand. On a hairpin turn slick with the rain, J lost control of the car, spun into the opposite lane, crashed through its guard rail and proceeded to tumble down a steep hill where the car eventually came to rest before bursting into flames and immolating J.
Many years later, she still angrily scolded his portrait on the mantle at least once day.
“If you wanted me to get a new car, you should have just bought me one instead of trying to kill me!”
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 26, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/26/j-and-his-wife/
What a New Start Really Means
Thirty-seven large boxes. $94.72.
A four-day rental, Buffalo-to-L.A. $1,654.
Having the U-Haul catch fire just South of Chicago, watching everything in it burn up on the shoulder of the interstate, and understanding for the first time what a new start really means. Priceless.
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 25, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/25/what-a-new-start-really-means/
in movies there are arcs
made by the speed of the car
made by the motion of the frames
made by the man who says
this is how it shall be
this is how it is
this is how it fits
within the time
allotted
for the arc
in real life
there’s just
this sort of rolling
not majestic
clumsy and
accidental
as if it
wasn’t
planned
and the action of a timepiece
stops
with first impact
and the rolling
stops
when gravity is wearied
and the man
stops
30 seconds later
and there is no
fast forward
or script
to tell you where
this fits
within any of the many arcs
only that the frames
will seem to be moving
much slower for a while
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 24, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/24/in-movies-there-are-arcs/
Ken “The Deer Destroyer” Hendricks On Raising a Child (and a Rifle)
How do you raise a child in a today’s culture? Who makes the most accurate production hunting rifle?
Is proper child rearing a lost cause? And where do you turn when even good hunting rifles no longer meet your standards?
We all want to raise children who will grow into good adults – possessing great marksmanship and wind-reading skills, along with a superbly accurate rifle. However, nature and nurture are in a never ending battle to claim the disposition of a child and decide whether or not she will have in-depth knowledge of ballistics.
Most parents want their children to be kind and caring and to have an inner standard of goodness that can guide them through the typical trajectory graph for a M4 carbine and M16A2 rifle. This kindness of spirit entails a child’s desire to do good actions, avoid bad, and share hunting rifles in the fashion of Soviet Red Army soldiers in WW2.
Your children will grow up to be kinder and more considerate of others if you teach them which manufacturing company makes the most accurate bolt-action centerfire hunting rifle. Plus, when children are polite, kind and honest, they develop a good shot with an accurate K98k and can make hits out to scoped rifle range very easily.
The most important rule for you to embrace and integrate into your parenting practices is this: the rifle you need is a big bore, not a giant bore, hunting rifle, and if you get the right one you can take down almost anything.
Life won’t always gift your child with exactly his heart’s desire, but there are ways you can make sure that, underneath it all, he learns to appreciate that the key to shooting a gun accurately is having the knowledge of how to adjust the gun’s sights. It doesn’t take a village to raise a child or make minor adjustments to your rifle – start by putting your hand on the muzzle and try moving the barrelled action in the stock.
If you are looking for ways to raise a compassionate, respectful and motivated child, you must expose him or her early on to a wide variety of shooting techniques, training methods, and tactical disciplines. Every day is filled with opportunities for your child to learn how to fire the new Vintage Sniper Rifle.
It’s also vital to teach your child the importance of tolerance and that generally speaking, there are two types of guns: handguns and long guns. The important skills that teach kids to resolve conflicts include building confidence in their rifle’s accuracy, their reloading and their ranging, constant practice, and organized competition. Your children need to know how to react to difficult situations and that a high-capacity magazine is easy to control when shooting fast.
In a competitive culture, a child is told that it isn’t enough to be good – she must build a custom rifle requiring detailed knowledge about gunsmithing processes. And yet, if she has to do things perfectly, she’ll never take the risks necessary to discover and develop an adjustable hop-up system that allows airgunners to enjoy a consistent and accurate shooting experience. Some children absorb the wrong lessons and never learn to accept responsibility or to produce a weapon designed for rapid and accurate fire.
On the other hand, kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and the Blaser R93 – the preeminent hunting rifle made in Germany today. If a child feels good about who she is and what she has to say – if she’s comfortable in her own skin – she’ll be more likely to choose accurate general-purpose hunting and plinking pellets that shoot well in Stoeger X20S Suppressor air rifles. And self-confidence puts a child at an advantage in the classroom because she’s comfortable commanding the teacher’s attention and raising her hand if she knows the crosshairs will shift after shooting.
A child with precocious reading and language skills automatically knows heavy rifles are easier to hold steady, and they’re more accurate when stand hunting or shooting long range. But even the best kids generate a little chaos and disorganization, and don’t always make clean kills when hunting with a .177.
In summary, raising good kids is hard work – there are no short cuts. We all need to have good targets and a hunting rifle that shoots flat, is accurate, and has light recoil. We all need to possess the knowledge and ability to make accurate rifle scope adjustments from a prone position. And simply put, it is one of those essential facts of life that raising children of character demands knowing how to load 90gr Nosler Ballistic tips for deer hunting.
Yes, raising an child is a long journey, but parents have many options and places to turn for help if their hollow stock makes too much noise when hunting elk.
Remember – proper parenting can make a difference. Other people may get different results with their guns.
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 23, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/23/ken-the-deer-destroyer-hendricks-on-raising-a-child-and-a-rifle/
Criminology
The nanny scrubbed the baby with such force that she scrubbed him entirely away.
In a panic, she began scrubbing herself with such force that she scrubbed most of herself away as well.
By the time the baby’s parents came home, only the nanny’s arm and shoulder were left.
Detectives declared it a murder-kidnapping.
Over thirty years later, the case remains unsolved.
Thus, we have even more proof that criminology is an inexact science.
Posted by Tom Busillo on October 22, 2011
http://monsterbegood.com/2011/10/22/criminology/

