Just before cooking,
pat the meat
into1/2-inch high round patties
and tell it
in a confident,
encouraging voice,
“You’re going to win the race.
I just know it.
We’ve got the fastest car on the track.”
All posts for the month September, 2010
Cooking Tip for Burgers
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 30, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/30/cooking-tip-for-burgers/
Memory Lifter
3 sets of that time
3 sets of that other time
cross-train with regrets
on days between workouts
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 29, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/29/memory-lifter/
Anne Sexton
Anne Sexton
went To Bedlam
and Part Way Back
already
a redeemer
in her way
for us
the functioning unsteady
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 28, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/28/anne-sexton/
how to floss when
how to floss when
the temperature is rising
the days are getting longer
how to floss when
air flows
ashes fall
how to floss when
you can’t stop the sun
from setting in the West
how to floss when
you can’t stop
the endless eclipse
how to floss when
neck pain is causing
tingling in legs and toes
how to floss when
power walking to Donna Summer’s “Last Dance”
is causing chest pain
how to floss when
there’s a handprint on the kitchen window
and the screen looks out of place
how to floss when
there’s a bloody handprint
on your cheek
how to floss when
all your letters to Bucharest are returned
unopened and stamped “RETOUR INCONNU”
how to floss when
serosal and mesenteric adhesions appear enveloped
and intertwined
how to floss when
the howitzer won’t fit
in your duffle bag
how to floss when
the trunk monkey’s primary weapon is a tactical AR-15 carbine/subcarbine/SBR
with a barrel that appears to be approx. 12.5-14.5 inches in length
how to floss when
it doesn’t matter what time of year it is
the birds are always 20 to 50 inches long
how to floss when
the Romans are sending out press releases
denying any “Jesus of Nazareth” in their criminal database
how to floss when
someone has called you
“all clay, but no kiln”
how to floss when
we can’t draw convincing portraits
of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards texting each other
how to floss when
there are no Shrinky Dinks
for the party
how to floss when
the party has ended
and it’s to late to dance
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 27, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/27/how-to-floss-when/
This Experiment Requires a Warm Day Of Falling Rats
Put the graham crackers side by side on a cloud forest.
Use your arms to form a cathedral-like ceiling above your head
while below, orchids, bromeliads, ferns, vines, and
recite your friends’ names and cell-phone numbers.
After a short period
of unconsciousness
you will find yourself
suspended on a zip line
80 feet above the floor.
Take the Florida Everglades and multiply it by 10
populate it with record-setting wildlife
like the world’s largest snake and rodent,
and add a local abeling tribe,
adventure racing,
Mount Arayat,
Bataan in reverse,
Dresden redux,
beaches with cries of
BELLESIMO!
boxes of black pencils
burps and buggies
Then use the whip
beneath each Rifleman
to unseat them.
A short snowmobile ride
will take you to a teepee
in the forest where you will be
served as farewell dinner -
a fitting end to your experiment!
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 26, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/26/this-experiment-requires-a-warm-day-of-falling-rats/
One of the Early Fallen
I hold you in my hands
one of the early fallen
Did you leave because the earth was calling?
Did you leave because the breeze lied?
Do the others
your brothers
know not to ask
if they’ll be light
when they’re
all walled in
and waiting
for the hauling
after a thousand centuries
when we’ve found nothing better
to do with you than gather you
and send you away.
Yes, I’ll keep you
in my Blizzard of One
and we’ll share a countercyclical secret
the smallest of conspiracies against nature
if you promise to help me
help myself remember
to not turn brown
and dry too early.
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 25, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/25/one-of-the-early-fallen/
How to Write a Letter to the Alaskan Winter Birds
Dear birds,
You don’t know me, but
I label my teeth in German,
including the enamel,
the crown,
the root,
the nerve,
the gum,
the filling.
Sometimes I get confused and sing
“The Wash Hands Song”
when I’m brushing my teeth.
Sometimes I sing “Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss in the Sky”
when I just meant to say “happy birthday”
to Martin Luther King Jr.’s teeth!
I write to you because our preacher
Reverend Wunder told us last Sunday,
“There’s no wisdom in following birds all through the winter.
Birds endure by means of the darkness.
Do YOU want to be creatures who endure
by means of THE DARKNESS?”
And it made me wonder some things
and you seem like the right people to ask
because you are birds and you are in Alaska
where it is always winter (i.e. snow and ice and cold).
Does this mean you fly in the dark?
Are you like bats?
Or can you fly in the dark only in winter?
Do bears ever follow you when they’re not hibernating?
Do they ever sleepwalk and follow you?
You can fly faster than bears run when they’re awake, can’t you?
In a matter of months,
my brother Casey will be hoisted
out of the center of the earth
on a crane
and join our family as my baby brother.
My mommy says this is where
baby miners come from.
Did you know that?
I enclose a picture of my family.
This is my family all wearing spiked teeth.
We do that sometimes to be scary to the missionaries who try to give us their magazine.
Mail, Love, Friendship,
James Earle Carter (not the former president who builds houses for poor people)
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 24, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/24/how-to-write-a-letter-to-the-alaskan-winter-birds/
Lambs in Borrowed Wool (a 3-page novella)
Chapter 1: “I wheeze too!”
Mary and Albert ran to the wheezing boys, pulling them quickly away from the burning building.
David stood frozen, then remembered that he too wheezed.
“Wait! Me too!” David cried. “I wheeze too!” he said as the wagon containing his brothers slowly made its way down Main Street.
Chapter 2: “Fair Enough!”
Later that evening, when the boys were safely home, Father spoke.
“Thank you for saving most of our wheezing children,” said Father, begrudgingly. “But I’d like to see what type of fire this djinn of yours will use to organize an online crafting community.”
“Fair enough,” said Albert, extending his hand.
Chapter 3: “Aw Nuts!”
Meanwhile, just out of town, two drifters sleeping in the front seat of a totaled 1972 Pontiac LeMans tied to the flatcar bed of a moving freight train wake up as lightening crackles in the sky.
“Sam, pull over in that gas station and turn around,” says Al Jr.
“You’re the one in the driver’s seat,” responded Little Al. “You turn around.”
“Aw, nuts!”
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 22, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/22/lambs-in-borrowed-wool-a-3-page-novella/
The Girlfriends of Franz Porcelain
don’t have an Aspen Bay Golden Glow.
They are bottom-dwelling organisms usually found on the ocean flour,
or yeast in pilsner, which is produced using bottom-fermenting yeast.
They were developed in 1993 by an international working group of spa professionals and dermatologists.
They have heads of phlegm.
They refuse to read the ingredients on the box in the order they are written.
They find it hard to read red digits on a grayish background.
They believe adventure racing is like a box of chocolates, but can cite no tangible similarities.
They think nothing beats the smile of a happy guest and a happy team member
bent on extinguishing humanity.
They think you can understand the field of dendro paleoreconstructions of climate by reading one graphing program and an e-mail taken out of context.
They will break you by playing good virus/bad virus.
They’re the ones contributing to the mess at the lake bottom.
They prompted the national kill-off of the tricorns.
They’ll tell you to include your baby’s name on the storage container containing your baby.
They’ll tell you mink oil is NOT bad for leather.
They’ll tell you that the mysterious vocalizations of the broken colossus ceased entirely in 199 AD.
They refuse to entertain the notion that he’s merely shifted to a higher register heard only by cats and dogs
They are the reason the original ghetto robot team lies in ruin.
And yes, we’ve managed to chase out a lot of the snakes.
And yes, I have removed the bone with my bone sucking power.
And yes, I loved the way you portrayed Bon Jovi not as a centaur, but as an octopi.
And yes, there is less pestilence now that we’re post-pestilence.
And yes, gods are easier to follow when defined in human terms.
And yes, there are a couple of bits I forgot to sand.
And yes, warm, dry feet increase the pleasure of an everyday winter adventure.
And yes, it would be impossible to rebuild New York City in such a way that the native plants and animals would continue to live largely undisturbed.
And yes, one idea during the Vietnam War was to build a moat around Saigon
And yes, I do think it’s funny when you slam the car door shut and the back passenger window falls out and shatters.
And yes, I know that for myself, to talk about team is to talk about people not machines.
And yes, I finally got the Mafia and over-zealous farmers off my back.
And yes, I think it would be cool to be a were-panther, but I think it would be kind of shitty to be a were-port-a-potty.
But will THEY tell you that?
No.
They will deny it all.
Always.
Always.
Always.
Always.
Every last bit
of it
to the very end
when it ends
like it always does
them flying off
in an MH-47 Chinook helicopter
with eight Navy SEALs
and eight additional Army Night Stalkers aboard
off like a category 5 typhoon
with concentric eyewalls
off to do the seemingly cool and trendy things
that the Girlfriends of Franz Porcelain do
fully
and completely
self-possessed.
Posted by Tom Busillo on September 21, 2010
http://monsterbegood.com/2010/09/21/the-girlfriends-of-franz-porcelain/
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